A Hot Mess!

Chrisette Michele givin’ it straight to Bryan Michael-Cox and his Jeffrey Osborne swag at the SESAC Awards. This is how I feel today because there is not a damn thing in the world interesting enough to post, and trust me, I’ve been looking! I’m too hungover for this shit, people.

The SESAC Awards must be honoring round-the-way fashions this year because that’s all I could find worth posting. Check ‘em out after the jump.

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Guess who’s bizzack? First of all, I will be back officially on Monday. I’ve been going through a lot, but hey…I’m still standing. Thanks to those who hit me up during my difficult time. Anyways, second of all, I did not forget about the Mimi-Nick Wedding. I also didn’t care. Eh…that’s just me. I mean…congrats, but I think it’s all a publicity stunt it’s whatever. Mariah did tell the folks over at People that they were “soulmates.” (*rolls eyes*) Take me Lawd. Well…just like I gave you the rundown of the Jayonce Wedding, here’s how it went down: Read the rest of this entry »

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I’m throwing Kid Fury to the wolves for bringing this to my attention and almost making me fall out of my chair at work. I can’t wait for episode two featuring Weezy, Cam’Ron and Ne-Yo.

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Mary’s man Kendu always has a look of raw emotion on his face. Whether it be the blank stare, the stare with a twist of shock, or pure stupefication, ol’ boy got the facial tic game on lock.

Mary celebrated the end of her run on The Heart of the City tour, and the heavy hitters came out to play. More after the jump, but here’s a hint — Jesus Warrior Heartthrob!

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Mariah Carey is “over the moon” about her recent marriage to Nick Cannon, according to her friend, Vogue editor Andre Leon Talley.

“She is very happy,” he said at the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala in New York on Monday. “I’ve spoken with her and she is superb. She is over the moon.

“I received an email from her [Monday] and she is so happy. She really sounds like someone on her honeymoon.”

Talley also had words of praise for the ‘Touch My Body’ star’s new husband. “I love Nick Cannon for Mariah,” he said. “For Mariah, this is poetry.” (Source)

Are we talking Shakespeare here or Soulja Boy’s eighth grade creative writing class homework? I’m just sayin’. Because the day I describe Mariah and Nick as “poetic” is the day I want to be cleansed of all my fuckery. Take me HIGHER!

By the by, People.com will reportedly publish flicks from the wedding extravaganza today at 10 am Eastern. I can’t wait to see the “bedazzled booty shorts and tank top with a pink veil” look Mariah pulled off and Da Brat trying to catch the garter.

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I don’t give a damn what anyone says, that Chico album Long Time No See knocks. I’m pretty sure he’s back in jail, though, so I won’t expect any new material from him anytime soon, ha.

Nia Long has not aged a day since this video. She is flawless. For some reason video girl roles where a lot more intriguing back in the day. Nowadays even when the girl isn’t just playing a ho role they go for the really obvious choices.

Watch the prison back-up dancers overemote like hell, especially the one in the back left of Chico. That whole thing was very suspect to me. HAY! I guess it is prison. They still ain’t got shit on this mess, though.

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All these young chicks coming in the game are trying to drop science on our asses. I ain’t mad.

This song is straight. I feel the message and on a couple more listens I might be able to get really into it. The video is cool but I could have done without the United Nations of Punk Grrlz at the end lip-synching the lyrics. Cheeseball!

Karina kinda looks like Eazy-E’s crazy ass daughter from “Sweet Sixteen”. I know y’all remember the mom screaming “She doesn’t have shoes?!”

In case you were wondering, The-Dream wrote this and Tricky Stewart produced it. Who else?

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…and had this to say about that wretched thing (click the jump for more).

Photos: Faded Youth

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Sorry for the lack of posts. I’m a drowning in a sea of schooldom and menial jobdom. More importantly, there ain’t SHIT to talk about today. Trust me, I’ve been looking.

Whoever requested this (I forget, forgive me) is a genius. I have this album and I still listen to it. I don’t care what anyone says, these dudes were Andre 3000’s fashion inspiration.

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Yeah yeah, this is the video with Nick Cannon. I dunno, this shit starts off mad weird. I don’t really get what her gallavanting around with him has to do with this song. Towards the end it’s like they realized they needed to go more with the theme instead of shots of her in bikinis and stuff. I wanted to hate this but the pictures at the end got me. I’m a sap for shit like that! I guess this means her old dog Jack died? How sad.

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Thanks to Miss Oh My for sending me to the funeral home with this. I really don’t have many words for this. That grandma had the patience of a saint. I woulda knocked her wildin’ ass out with a bag of bricks.

I fell the hell out at “Where my du-rag at?! I’m pressin’ charges!” “It’s on your head.”

More posts to come later in the day, I’m at work right now and a little indisposed.

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Happy Cinco de Mayo from your favorite half Mexican. Posts may be a bit slow because I will be off perpetuating the stereotypes that all Mexicans do is drink all day, even on holidays that don’t even commemorate independence and are not really celebrated in Mexico. In actuality, I have class all day today and work until about 8, so I will most likely come home and watch a movie while drinking a beer alone. God, my life is sad.

Do tequila shots for me! I’ll be back tomorrow (or maybe later day, who knows).

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Someone stole Nickel’s chain or something in Angola, and then ran away. There was too much of him, ya know, performing at the beginning which I just can’t deal with, so I fast forwarded a bit but it still seems kinda blurry. I’ll take their word for it, though.

This is what he gets for this fuckery. Whoever thought mixing Curtis with “Rainbow Six” was a good idea needs a swift kick in the ass.

Thanks Aaron

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I don’t remember if I posted this one already so forgive me if I did. This song is a mess in the edited version. You can’t even understand what’s going on or what the hell they are talking about! That stupid ass line “Stop me? Maybe!” is still in there, though. Who says that?! “You might be able to stop me. Yeah, you have a good chance.” This is where Lord Tariq failed Rapper’s Posturing 101.

This was back in the day before Napster and free music and all that. It’s OK because this song and “Still Not A Player” were the only things on the radio.

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Whoever switched Donna Karan’s calendar to October 31st needs a spanking.

Homegirl showed up to The Urban ZEN Foundation’s mission in NYC wearing an airbrush tee made by a fifth grader, some Hammer pants, a fanny pack, one of Left Eye’s hats and some clown shoes. Sometimes this job is so easy I don’t even have to make any further comment.

I’m sure there’s more to this story, like maybe she had a lobotomy or something, but I don’t know if anything can excuse this. Check the jump for more flicks of the early ’90s throwing up all over Donna.

Photos: WENN

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